On Grout

The number of positive comments I've received on the beautiful shade of grout that is featured between the pink tiles of my lavatory has astounded even me. One knows when even burly lawn care professionals are noticing such a thing, that one must share this knowledge amongst virtual friends who are in desperate need of good aesthetic advice. I'm attaching a photo here with my personal haircare and bodywash products pixelated for privacy.

The color of grout used within my lavatory is called "True Ivory," and is based on an absolutely beautiful shade of tusk I discovered on Safari in Kenya some years ago. Upon seeing these tusks, I knew immediately just how I wanted my bathroom to look. I brought a truckload of them back into the country with me and took them straight to my decorator, with strict instruction to color match my grout.

And before anyone becomes the least bit upset with questions of ethics or morality, rest assured that I turned in each and every name of all persons involved with this despicable practice once the bathroom was completed. And, in hopes that this never happen again, allow me to publish the color breakdown: mix two parts of Valspar's "Brilliant White" to one part Liquitex's "Happy Yellow", before finally adding two drops of Dior's "Bashful Pink" rouge into the grout mix. Have the tile and grout washed and polished every 8 hours to preserve maximum radiance.