On All Hallows' Eve

It is hard to believe that All Hallows' Eve is upon us yet again. It seems like only yesterday I was turning off all homefront lighting, disconnecting the doorbell and quietly reading a book in the back of the house. Time certainly flies, doesn't it readers.

Despite the many negatives of the holiday, I set about decorating the property this morning in the style of All Hallows' Eve. I enlisted the help of my new washwoman Isabel, whom incidentally fought me every step of the way. She asked why go to such exhaustive measures to decorate the entire property for just one day when she has to come early and take it all back down the very next? I tried to help her understand that decorating for holidays keeps one young, which in turn keeps a sparkle in the eye. But on the other hand, having seasonal decorations up for more than a couple of days is not only irritating, but also a safety hazard. From the look on Isabel's face I'm not sure she agreed.

Although Isabel insists that she is Spanish, I believe her to be German. I see it in her walk and refuse to discuss it further. I assumed her Teutonic eye would be a big help to me in staging sinister and menacing props around the house, but boy was I wrong. Not only did she not offer any ideas of her own, she seemed absolutely terrified all morning and afternoon and spent much of the day in nervous prayer. Luckily I was there to offer direction.

The trick to successful decorating for All Hallows' Eve is to go for a kind of Satanic Ritual look without going overboard. Having a startling and memorable decor is the goal, but compromising one's good-standing in social circles and the afterlife is to be avoided when possible.

In the snapshot above I've mixed a hellish raven and ritualistic black candelabras with heavenly crystal stemware and civilized silver leaf pumpkin votives. It's quite unsettling but very elegant. Nothing this tasteful could be soulfully inappropriate, now could it.

And finally, nothing says "October" like a plaque that says "October". Decorative signage inscribed with seasonal words or motifs placed in foyers and entryways lets visitors know exactly what they're in for, without a lot of sociological explanation from the homeowner. This allows the host and guest to engage in satisfying personal conversation much more quickly.